karma Payment Plan

time flies when you're avoiding your blog...

2011-11-16T12:38:00.002-05:00

Well will ya look at that... I haven't blogged since June! I am sure you have all been hanging in suspense to hear the ending of my tale of my father's death...
well hang no longer...
So where was I..
Oh yes. First day in a foreign land with strangers or some such thing...

The following morning I awoke at 5 am and didn't quite know where I was at first. To me it felt like I had slept in late, since I was still on EST. I was at a loss and could not bring myself to just lay there, so I got up and cleaned the guest bathroom. I waited for the girls to get up and had some coffee and prepared myself for going to my dad's trailer.
When we arrived at his trailer park it all seemed so surreal. It was so hard to walk into the home of the man I barely knew. What would I find? My father was always a tidy, proud man and I was a bit surprised at the neglect of housework. I knew his bad health was the cause. He had been ill a few years and had had a quadruple bypass two years prior. His clothes and shoes however were immaculate. He had always been a snazzy dresser. He had more suits, boots and shoes than anyone I have ever known. He was a charmer and dressed the part wherever he went.
I really did not know where to start with his belongings. I knew they had to go, but had no clue how I would do it all in less than a week. I started to go through paperwork and looking for precious photos of those relatives in Hungary I knew much of nothing about. I found them straightaway thankfully. I also found every single card, letter or picture I had sent him over the years. All the grand kids he never met smiling at him in those photos, my wedding photos and invitation, postcards from places I had been....
I sat and had a good cry....
His gf, sisters and bro-in-law were a gigantic help through it all. They knew some people that would come and remove some things and helped to pack the rest of it up. Dad's neighbors helped out and took some things they could use also. We got a lot done that first day.
The following day was a small memorial service in the park community room. Some of dad's friends came to share stories and pay respects. One friend he played cards with wrote him a poem. Another read a passage from a book. I had brought along pictures and we made a nice display with scrabble tiles and his bowling gear. Dad loved both. Everyone told me how proud he would have been of me for taking care of everything in the end. They made me proud of my father for having been such a good friend to them. He was always there to help people when they needed something built like a deck or ramp.
It gave me a whole new view of my father.
I managed to somehow get everything taken care of and made new friends and family in the process. As well as having some fun! His gf and her family were wonderful people and were such a help to me. It takes big hearts to let someone they have never met into their homes and to give them so much help. I would never have been able to do it without their support and the support of my family.
Sometimes I am still expecting that phone call that I may or may not ignore and then I realize it will never come again.

Obviously it takes a death to make me blog again....

2011-06-30T12:22:00.002-04:00

I have become a horrible blogger. Hard to believe with the blogger I used to be...

These days it takes something major (or major boredom) to make me blog again.

This one was a biggie....

A month ago I got a text from my newly reacquainted brother that started out fine, and then he said he had to tell me something about Dad. I knew right away what it would be. My father had died two weeks prior to my brother finally being tracked down. All that week, before I had found out, I had had a nagging feeling about my dad and I knew there was something wrong. The biggest thing on my mind was what would I do if he died? How would I get to California? How could I possibly afford to? How could my family live without me if I had to leave suddenly? Who would take care of Zion? Well, we would soon find out...
I took on the responsibilities of next of kin and started making arrangements. The sheriff's office of Riverside had been brought in to find the next of kin, so I had to deal with them and the coroner. My dad had a girlfriend who had been in limbo for two weeks not being able to do a thing since she was not considered next of kin. She did not know how to contact us. My father had been in the coroners office for two weeks. I spoke with her and reassured her I would get things taken care of. It took me two days to make arrangements for cremation and to make travel plans. I was an absolute wreck during this whole time, but I somehow managed to pull it together. This was tough, considering I had not seen my father in 16 years and I talked to him only a few times a year.
On June 10th I flew to California. The trip out was horrible due to problems at the airport and almost missing my flight. Then when I got to Ontario and went to pick up my rental car they told me I needed an extra hundred dollars to deposit that I did not have! I was furious, hysterical and stranded. I called my dad's gf and asked her to come rescue me. She and her two sisters came to get me. I had never gotten hotel reservations due to lack of money and was going to wing it when I got there. Either staying at my dad's trailer or getting a hotel. The girls told me I had to come home with them. She had an extra room I was welcome to. This was a huge relief and just the fact that they were so welcoming and warm to me made me feel so much better and I accepted their offer. We went to the crematorium to pick up my father's belongings and then to her house for dinner and drinks. Oh and we got pulled over for speeding on the way and got off due to our sob story!
I immediately felt at home when we got there. She had a ton of cats, dogs and two goats! Being a farm girl and animal lover, I fit right in. The three sisters and I hit it off immediately. His GF and I had lots in common and she was only ten years older than me. GO dad who was 71! We sat around drank and ate and told stories. I had brought a ton of pictures to share so we looked through them. I was exhausted from the travel and the time change so we ended the night pretty early. We had a big day the next day.

I think I will stop the story there for the time. It is still hard to think about it all. I will say that it hit me worse when I got back home. The last few weeks have been rough and I am just getting back to myself.
I will continue the story soon~

25 things about me~

2010-11-18T08:28:00.001-05:00

1. One of my favorite snacks is dried apricots. I am having some right now.
2. I <3 beer and tequila~
3. I have been the mother of a paraplegic for almost 11 years. Since Dec 11th 1999...
4. I have 5 cats, a dog, a painted turtle and a Betta.
5. I am an Aries and this makes me hit my head a lot.
6. My favorite band is Modest Mouse.
7. I used to have a mane of dreadlocks.
8. My 8 year old daughter, Sadie, is my mini-me.
9. I tended bar for 9 years.
10. I am afraid of driving, but I think that makes me a good driver.
11. My father is a refugee from Hungary and my mother is a Resident Alien from England so I am a first generation American.
12. I am double jointed.
13. I want to write a cookbook, but it wouldn't be your normal cookbook....
14. I am afraid of dark deep water, spiders and heights.
15. I hated High School and dropped out even though I was an Honor Student. I still hate High School and it never seems to go away....
16. I have a plastic plate where a cheekbone should be.
17. I am allergic to gold, stupid people and bullshit.
18. I love to cook and entertain for my friends and family.
19. I am a nurturer...but don't piss me off....
20. I am Fey.
21. I want to learn to speak Hungarian and visit Hungary.
22. I have traced part of my English Ancestry back to 1100 AD and to Kings of England.
23. Both of my Grandfathers were killed in WWII and I was too little to remember much about my Grandmothers when they died.
24. I want to live by the ocean someday.
25. I am addicted to Facebook.....

playing with the past~

2010-10-26T21:14:00.003-04:00

A new group on facebook has made me dig around in the past the last two days and this is something I found from my old Journalspace blog. I miss those days and wish I could get the blogging drive I had then back again. It was so therapeutic.

Playing Along
posted 04/24/06
If I were a month I would be: March
If I were a day of the week I would be: Saturday
If I were a time of day I would be: evening
If I were a planet I would be: Venus
If I were a sea animal I would be: a green sea turtle
If I were a direction I would be: West
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a bed
If I were a sin I would be: lust
If I were a liquid I would be: beer
If I were a stone, I would be: a fire opal
If I were a tree, I would be: an alder
If I were a bird, I would be: a Red-tailed hawk
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a Lily
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: sunshine
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a drum
If I were an animal, I would be: a cat
If I were a color, I would be: blue
If I were an emotion, I would be: love
If I were a vegetable, I would be: a turnip
If I were a sound, I would be: a sigh
If I were an element, I would be: fire
If I were a car, I would be: a '57 Corvette
If I were a song, I would be: reggae
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Jim Henson
If I were a poem, I would be written by: me
If I were a food, I would be: cheese
If I were a place, I would be: a garden
If I were a material, I would be: cotton
If I were a taste, I would be: a mix of sweet and sour
If I were a scent, I would be: Patchouli
If I were a religion, I would be: Pagan
If I were a word, I would be: chaos
If I were an object, I would be: a crystal ball
If I were a body part I would be: a womb
If I were a facial expression I would be: a smile
If I were a subject in school I would be: social studies
If I were a shape I would be: a circle
If I were a number I would be: three

Life is large

2010-05-22T09:50:00.003-04:00

It's rainy and dreary out, which is okay with me since I want to get some cleaning done this weekend. It is warm and I have a covered back porch, so I can enjoy the day anyway.

If I can get out of my wanting to cry mood....

My house smells like peonies and the scrambled eggs and toast Quinn is cooking himself.

I guess life is pretty good, but I have this empty hole right now.

I think my life is a little too large.

Speaking of large....Look how big my kitties have gotten. Kitties really do make life better. Even if they wake you up too early in the morning.

Playing with Faeries

2010-05-05T08:54:00.006-04:00

Just when I think I am going to get bit by the blogging bug and starting blogging regularly again I turn around and forget about it for a while. Anyway….

Life is still crazy here. My mom moved in, so we are now 9 people, 8 cats, 1 dog, a turtle and a fish. What a house full! Gran is keeping everyone in line now and about to roll some heads if asses don’t get in gear. She sure does keep me busy! It is great to have a helpful person here. We have done tons of gardening and put in a lot of new perennials. Zion’s room is cleaner than it has been in a while and she spoils the hell outta him. I actually had to scold her yesterday about letting him be responsible for some of his own things. Tucker the black lab thinks she moved in just for him. They go on walks a few times a week.

Even though I have someone around to help, I am still stressed. Zion’s health is not good. My husband and I have been on touchy ground. The extra people in the house are working my nerves(and Mom’s).

But… life goes on and luckily there has been some fun to distract me!

On the 23rd I got to go to Baltimore to see one of my favorite new bands, The Xx, with two of my best friends. The concert was amazing and we danced our butts off! Oh the glory of a hot English boy making love to his bass and the feel of it vibrating through my body. We went to the after party and got to see Jamie from The Xx DJ. We had so much fun.

This Saturday we went to the Baltimore Zoo with my sister. It was so hot, but it was still a good time. I love seeing all the animals and it is so great to have a good camera for places like that.

Sunday we went to the 19th annual Faerie Festival at Spoutwood Farms, which is just down the road. We went Sunday so we could see the band Albannach from Scotland, who I absolutely LOVE! Mmm hot Scotsman in Kilts beating on drums and blowing on pipes. It was so great to dance to them again. Sadie was dancing just as hard as I was. My lil girl can dance! It was so freaking hot and sunny and I ended up burning, but it was well worth it. it’s so much fun to see all the costumes and look at all the vendors stuff. We got a little faerie house to put in our faerie garden and the kids got wooden flutes. Now that the kids are older it is more fun to go with them. Next year I am hoping to be able to volunteer and camp out a night there so I can enjoy the late night drum circles!

If we get hit by a satellite, don't blame me...

2010-03-24T19:37:00.002-04:00

Do you ever have those dreams that plague you all day long? No matter what you do, you just keep thinking and thinking about it. Trying to analyze what it could mean and what you missed or can't remember. Trying to hold on to the fleeting memory of a dream can be hard, and trying to put it into words, can be next to impossible. It can drive a person batty.
I slept horribly last night and the night before I had to stay up all night at the ER with Zion. I think when I finally got into a good REM sleep this morning, after I got the kids off to school, my brain was just chocked full of pent up dreams.
One part of my dream I had an owl nesting in my house and it hatched a baby, but some animal conservationist came and took it away. I got to hold it before they left until it started freaking out. All through the dream I was carrying my Belly as a kitten in my pocket through some kind of flea market or antique mall.
I hate that you can only vividly remember parts of your dreams. There should be some way to record them so you can watch them again. Imagine how cool that would be, especially to those of us who believe in dreams having hidden meanings and sometimes being able to foresee the future.
Anyway...
In the dream, I was with many of the people I love and consider family. We were all in separate vehicles though and had gone off in different directions. The dream had us in some small towns not far from here. We were getting ready to head home and I saw a huge satellite dish crash to earth and a big black cloud start to envelope the area. It seems like it was miles from where we were. People started to panic and chaos commenced. I had a bunch of the kids with me and yelled for them to jump in the car. Zion came running to the car and I said "What are you doing running? Where is your wheelchair?" We sped off towards home and we were blocked from going our usual way because there were roadblocks and a sign that said Dangerous Site ahead. I was so worried about all the others who could be at home already and not knowing if the satellite fell close to our house.
It was quite the intense dream and I will not forget it anytime soon, that's for sure! I will be waiting for the day where we can record our dreams and watch them whenever we want to.

catch the memories~

2010-02-03T21:22:00.002-05:00

We finally got a new camera today! Our camera had been messed up for a while and when we went to Phoenix, it died right before one of the most memorable events of our lives. I haven't had a camera for months. I feel like I missed out on memories over the holidays and such. How many times did I think or say I wish I had a camera. We waited until we could get a decent camera and I am so happy. Can't wait to catch those moments~

Poetry from the Past

2010-01-27T12:15:00.000-05:00

I was looking through old files the other day and found the poems I wrote for Chris when we first got together on JS. I used to love writing poetry. Some of them are the word of the day poems I used to do and others are just words.
I need to find my muse again~

~HARRIDAN~

I will not become a harridan
for I have found a one
to make me grow and bloom within
and brighten like the sun
my breast does swell
with just a look
my soul becomes an open book
and in him I do surely see
a future that was meant for me

~Spring salad~

You create
a salmagundi of emotions
that course through my body
and cause me to shudder
without being touched
as if your thoughts could caress me
and stir up my longing
till I almost burst
with anticipation of touch
and what will soon come
when body meets body
and eyes contact eyes
and the two of us mesh
and from into one
no longer divided
by so many miles
but writhing together
united in passion
till we've both come undone

~tranmissions~

Your voice
bounces to me
from tower to tower
over so many miles
the sound
soothes my soul
and shortens the hours
till we meet in a while
transmitting your soul
on a cellular level
to bounce into mine
across the state lines

~Cap-a-pie~

I long for kissing cap-a-pie
To taste the salt and sweet
To blur my mind
and satisfy
this longing
then to sleep

~the gloaming~

I long to sit
in the gloaming
with you
watching the twinkle
of fireflies
in the summer's climax
entangled in
glistening limbs
inhaling
your aura

~Glow~

Leave me disheveled
a smile on my face.
The lingering feeling
of my saving grace.
The warmth of your touch
still burns on my skin.
Your mouth's sweet caress
that was felt from within.
Leave me with a glow
from your thrusting release.
The thing I was craving
to bring me some peace.

Sometimes getting the bitch out works

2010-01-05T20:37:00.000-05:00

So I let some frustration and anger out today on my husband and I guess it worked. I think I scared the hell outta him! Don’t get me wrong… I love him and we are mostly happy, but who is ever happy all the time? I just want me time and my vehicle back! As much as I love being a hermit, I NEED to get out of this house sometimes. I have not worked for 6 years and since Zion is doing ok right now, I want a job to get me out of the rut I am in.

I am so sick of housework and care taking.

Right now I am on the point of just going on strike and seeing how long it takes them to notice I am doing nothing. They would never last past snacktime after school. They can’t live on Ramen, eggs and sandwiches forever (though I might make them for a few days). I think I might just do that and see how much more they appreciate the Guinness stew in a few days.

Who am I kidding…

I am never able to just let it all go.

Tomorrow I will still do laundry, go grocery shopping, clean up bedrooms, clean catpans, dishes, organize things and put things away.

But tomorrow night I get ME TIME!! The bff( who is now living here, but that’s another story) and I are going to Zumba class! YAY! It is time for me to get me back.

On a side note..

I know I have not blogged in so long and I have many things to tell! So things to look forward to reading include but are not limited to:

~Zion’s Make a Wish granting and our trip to Phoenix to meet an author

~Why razors are evil and hospital stays make good vacations

~I dare Zion’s school to try to fine me for Truancy

~Did I happen to mention my New Year’s Resolution is to not be so nice?

~Word of the Day poems and haikus

~Randomosity

I WILL blog more in 2010~

I need a rant

2010-01-05T08:49:00.000-05:00

Months since I have written here and I have to update with a rant…..

I am tired.

I am tired of being nice to people and being taken advantage of.

I am tired of doing things all by myself even though 7 other people live here.

I am tired of the kids being disrespectful,

I am tired of my husband not having his own vehicle and driving MY van that is supposed to be for Zion’s use.

I am tired of my kid telling me this is his house and he will kick me out when he can.

I am tired of not having a job or money and not having any way to get to a job because we have one vehicle.

I am tired of being a nurse, cook, maid and laundry lady and not getting paid for it.

I am tired of never getting a break from my kids and then listening to my friends who get breaks ALL the time whine and complain about their kids.

I am tired of whiny people.

I am tired of stupid bitches.

I am tired of cleaning up after animals.

I am tired of the struggle and constant worry about money, bills, food, etc…

I am so tired of being nice and I am just plain tired but can’t sleep.

Stupid hospital...

2009-10-12T09:41:00.001-04:00

Zion went for his normal appointment at the wound clinic on Friday and ended up in the emergency room by 4 pm. One of his wounds has tunneled under the skin and has become infected. He also has a UTI. The doc wanted him to come in to get a cat scan to see how deep the wound went. He finally got the scan at around 11 pm. The ER was insane between accidents and people with the flu, People were vomiting everywhere. Nice…

They admitted him early Saturday morning. We finally got a room on the peds ward at 2 am. Zion was so pissed because it was homecoming weekend and he missed the game Friday and the dance Saturday night. At least he missed his birthday by a day.

We are still waiting on answers and I am so glad Monday is here. This hospital virtually shuts down on the weekends. They did an MRI on Saturday and I have not heard much about it yet. Only thing I have heard is that the infection is not into his femur. They may do surgery to clean the wound out, but not sure yet. I just want some answers today.

I am a bit perturbed that the peds ward has NO accessible bathrooms or showers. How can that be right? I was in the hospital for a week about two months ago with a staph infection and MRSA and my bathroom had a nice wheel-in shower. That was in the new part of the hospital. The peds ward was just remodeled within the last few years and no one thought they may have a need for handicap accessible bathroom!? Where’s the ADA when you need it? I will be making a formal complaint.

Please keep Zion in your thoughts and prayers. He has been through too much for his 16 years. Just when we think things are going well something happens. He had been back in school full time and got a part in the school production of Much Ado About Nothing. He was so happy to be in school again. I hope that he will not have to be here too long and he can go back to school.

The sky was yellow and the sun was blue~

2009-10-08T08:14:00.003-04:00

Sixteen years ago I brought my first little miracle into this world after about 2 days of labor. He was stubborn from the beginning. He came two weeks late and I went into hard labor the morning I was to be induced. I remember my sister-in-laws and mom seeing his full head of hair popping out and my boyfriend(not the dad) happened to pop his head in the room just as he was crowning and he yelled "I'm sorry", even though he didn't knock me up. Somehow, with the strange connection his dad and I have always had, he managed to call at the time I was delivering. He knew Zion was coming.
I still think Zion saved me. I have no idea where I would have ended up if I had not gotten pregnant. It could have been in crack alley in San Fran. Or on some commune in Hawaii. He changed my life, at 18 years old, for the better and I am so thankful for that gift.
I wish he could have saved his dad from all the tribulations he has put himself through.
Who knew 16 years ago that everything that has happened would.
It has now been almost 10 years since he was paralyzed and life is not easy, but I still have him.
He is your typical difficult teenager with some extra added angst and issues stemming from the spinal cord injury.
He is an awesome human being that I am so proud of.
Some days he is the bane of my existence.
I love him so very very much.

and I thought it was such a quaint town.....

2009-06-29T11:22:00.000-04:00

I always thought my town was such a nice quiet picturesque town…. until I moved here. Now I see the ugly truth after years of seeing robberies, arson, mean neighbors, teenage hoodlums and the like, but THIS tops it all.

Saturday night we had a party with friends. We were having a great time when I see a cop car come flying up my driveway with no lights at all. He flies back out (wshew) and goes down the other side street where they stop in my yard and start screaming at someone to put their hands in the air while drawing their guns on him. We could not see or hear exactly what was happening because of the fallen willow tree, but I was freaked and told everyone to get in the house. I was scared. You never know what could happen around here.

Things calmed down and we resumed our fun. The next morning I had to know what it was so I started scanning the paper and news online. I even asked the nosy neighbors down the block, but they heard nothing. I finally found it later on in the day.

My drunken neighbor, who practically lives in my back yard, shot his three young, adorable dogs in his kitchen with a .22. WTF!!!!???? OMFG!!!! Apparently he was extremely intoxicated and had enough of their barking. People were setting off fireworks which I am sure had them barking so he shot and killed two and wounded the other.

They were the cutest dogs. They used to get loose and hang out with Tucker in my yard. I wanted to steal the sheltie. They also had a beagle that never came out of his cage because he is a hunting dog. That dog barked constantly and had many complaints from neighbors, but he shoots the other ones. WTF! They said he took pride in that dog.

The guy is out on bail and it really freaks me out that he is so close to my house and kids and animals. They let the beagle stay. HOLY WTF!!!!!! How is that right!? I guess it could have just as easily been the wife that was shot and she bails him out!? Dumbasses. I hope he goes to jail for a long time and she leaves him finally. I have known for along time they were alcoholics because Zion was friends with her daughter before she went into foster care. The wife would show up at my door when they were fighting once in a while to use my phone. I hope she has the sense to leave him before it’s her that gets shot.

I feel so sad that those poor little dogs are dead.

I also want to build a ten foot wall around my property.

Pardon my neglect~

2009-06-22T10:38:00.004-04:00

I have been very neglectful with blogging lately. I just can't seem to get in the mood for it and find Facebook and Twitter much easier tasks. It doesn't take much to write a few sentences there.
We celebrated our first anniversary this weekend. We didn't do much and it poured rain half the weekend, but we were happy and that's what counts.
Next weekend we will be having our own Celtic Fling, since we can't afford to go to the real one. I will make some traditional dishes and there will be whiskey and beer and wine and whatnot involved.
Today I have to take Zion back to the wound clinic because he developed another horrible pressure wound. The younger two are annoyed they have to go along. I have to say I am not looking forward to it much...
The kittens from my last post are now huge and crazy! We ended up keeping two of the girls. Originally it was only going to be Belly and I had put the other one on Craigslist. That is until I got a message from someone saying not to give them away for free because people take them to bait dogs or feed snakes. ACK! I promptly removed her and decided we were keeping her. We named her Batty because she has a bat-like head. They are both adorable. The other two went to friends.

How adorable is this!?

2009-04-09T15:59:00.003-04:00

You forget how quickly kittens grow in a short time. They are getting so big and are responding to people so much already. The minute you stick your hand in the basket they start meowing and reaching for you. Now has been an amazing mother for being so young herself. It was about a year ago that we found her and her siblings as little abandoned kittens with goopy eyes and poopy butts looking half starved. She takes great care of here babies and is so tolerant of humans touching them. She has not tried to move them out of the living room once and we had lots of people here last weekend for the Pirates Vs. Ninjas party. The babies are already trying to climb out of the safety of their basket. Before long they will be running around all scatty!
Got me thinking about...
What if humans bred like cats?
Can you imagine! Give birth to four or five(or more) at a time and have them raised and gone in eight weeks! Imagine what the earth's population would be like!
Thanks be for diversity~

Save money

2009-04-06T18:42:00.004-04:00

I was tagged by the lovely SunTiger to blog three money saving ideas so here they are!

1.) For a cheaper healthier alternative to ground beef, try using TVP or textured vegetable protein. It works great in soups and chili and the texture of it is a lot like meat. One bag costs me a little over 2 bucks and I can make three meals with it.

2.)(Idea from my wonderful husband) Instead of having ONdemand cable service or taking your family to an expensive movie theater, create your own media server using your game system and Tversity .

3.)Plant a vegetable garden and freeze or can your veggies to use year round!

Feeling all kitties and rainbows~

2009-03-29T19:48:00.003-04:00

I had a good day. Met an old friend for lunch that I have not seen in about 17t oh did years. She is from my teenage years and I lived with her during a rough spot with my mom. We were trouble, but OH what fun we had! It was great to see her. We also just happened to run in to another old friend we went to school with. Lots of fun! we talked and talked about back then and caught up on where we have been in life.I hope to go out with her again next weekend and start hanging out again regularly.
Yesterday my kitty Now gave birth to five adorable and health(despite inbreeding)black kittens. Yes we have Jerry Springer animal soap opera going on here. Her brother knocked her up despite efforts to stop it and her lover Tucker the dog is jealous. Tucker has totally accepted the babies though. She is such a great mama. She got through the birth with barely a meow. They are so adorable and I can't wait to find them all homes.(Want a kitten?)
We had a freak storm while I was out for lunch and drinks and it hailed like crazy for a few minutes and there was a tornado warning for the county. I waited until the worst of it passed before heading home. Mom came for dinner and I made tacos. While eating we spotted a beautiful rainbow out the back of the house. I have caught a few good ones there. Now we are watching movies. Close encounters first and then I finally get to see Twilight!
Awesome day~

OK so maybe I am a little moody...

2009-03-27T16:17:00.003-04:00

I saw this on someone's twitter and thought it fit me perfectly today. Between turning 35 on Monday and pms I am feeling a bit out of sorts this week. I had a great birthday. C took off work and we slept more after the kids went to school. I was lazy all day. I watched a good chick flick, P.S. I love you, and cried lots. My hunny cooked me dinner and I made a carrot cake with homemade cream cheese icing. I even got birthday sex. That all didn't matter when I woke up on Tuesday. I felt like someone had sucked the life out of me. I felt like that all week. Today I finally felt like I had a bit of motivation. I did tons of laundry and some organizing. I started working on our bedroom, but got discouraged by the amount of clutter. I think I will be more motivated by next week. I hope.
I need to get the kitchen painted this week. We are having a party next weekend to celebrate the new kitchen. In a moment of creative genius I decided to make it a Pirates Vs. Ninja themed party. C got these awesome pirate ice cube trays and I had been planning on trying my hand at making sushi rolls, so it just fell together in my mind. I am hoping people will dress as their fav. I think I will be a pirate ninja!(AKA Pinja) C also got these shot glass molds that you can freeze juice or water in OR Melt gummis and make gummi shot glasses!! How awesome will that be! I hope some people that I have not seen in a while will show up. If you can make it... come join US!

The Good Times Are Killiin' Me

2009-03-16T09:14:00.002-04:00

Well the good times did not kill me, but they sure did hurt a bit. We had an excellent time though. I just happen to not be able to walk without turning my ankles.
We arrived at our hotel Saturday afternoon and proceeded to consume shots and beer. We were right beside the Reading Terminal Market so we went there first looking for something to eat, but most of the places were closing so we left. We walked around the city for a while looking for someplace to eat and while walking at a fast pace on uneven sidewalks holding hands with C I turned both ankles and fell down. It hurt so bad, but I was just glad I didn't rip a hole in my pants. We walked a little further and found a pizza place. The Bff went and got me a bandage and I wrapped my really bad ankle up. We ate our pizza then headed off to the show. I realized when we got close to South Street that we had been walking the wrong way, but I had been half drunk and in pain and was discombobulated. We had gone ten blocks in the wrong direction! We grabbed two cabs and got to the show in time to get decent seats on the upper level where the bar is. We all got drinks and settled in for the long wait before Modest Mouse came on. The opening bands were ok. I liked Mimicking Birds better than Japanese Motors. The Electric Factory is an awesome venue. Modest Mouse finally started around 11:30 and it was an amazing show. They played so many great songs. After the show we walked back to the hotel and decided to go eat at a diner. I walked entirely too much on two sprained ankles and by the time we got to bed they were horribly swollen. I iced them for a bit and went to sleep.
Sunday we got up and went to Market for coffee and some shopping. After that we walked around Chinatown. We then took a cab to South Street and ate at Jim's. They are my favorite cheese steaks in the city. South Street is so much fun. We shopped and walked down to the waterfront. We had a beer at one the bars and then started walking back towards a cemetery we had passed. I love looking at all the old buildings and cobblestone streets in the city. We got some photos at the cemetery and then strolled around by Independence Hall then back to the parking garage. I was done by the time we got there. Wayyyy too much walking on hurt ankles for me. I was happy to get in my van and leave for home. I had so much fun despite the injuries I sustained and I can't wait to do it again. I think I should maybe invest in some hightops or boots first.

Zion's stylin now~

2009-03-11T19:12:00.003-04:00

Life has been busy. It's that time of year. I feel change coming and have to keep busy and do things like cut my hair off and dye it bright colors. I am antsy. I am loving the new style and I think I look great as a red head. Spring cleaning has kicked in and my house is in complete chaos. I have half my rooms half cleaned. I can never seem to stay in one place long enough to get it done. Oh well. I will get to it. I am still trying to get things back in order from the kitchen remodel and have so many other projects I want to delve into. Then there is the yard.....
Zion got his bike today!! It was so cool watching him on it. I am so glad it came so he has some time to enjoy it before his surgery. The weather has been good for it. My mom and I finally got to start walking on the rail trail again this week. Hopefully we will be able to go again tomorrow.
Quinn has his science fair tomorrow night. We did an awesome project on magnetic levitation.
Saturday we go to Philly to see MODEST MOUSE!! woot! I am so excited. I will be sure to take lots of pics.

S is for ....

2009-02-24T08:20:00.003-05:00

I saw this over at Kate's and thought it was cool. Here are some of my results at urbandictionary for all the names I go by.

1. susie~ Awesome, sweetest person ever but still knows how to party! Super funny and smart.

(Well of course I agree with this!)

2. susie~ Used by mothers sometimes to describe a young girls private area with content of being mannerful.

(Please don't tell me you call it a Susie!)

3. susie~ doing a susie - a girl playin with a guys winky under the water in a hot tub while other people are in there too, and are oblivious to the underwater activity.

(I would never!)

4. Susanna~ The cutest and most intelligent being you will ever meet. Also very good at musical instruments. This person will most likely appear as a a white female, but don't be fooled, this person is really black on the inside. Watch your step.

This word can be used to replace the commonly used words such as "perfect", "cute", "beautiful", and "talented"

(I am so Susanna)

5. Sue ~ a cow lover with a good heart.

(cows are ok)

And another... or two~

2009-02-19T16:25:00.005-05:00

Kitchen pics

2009-02-19T16:20:00.001-05:00

More Adventures in Lubeland

2009-02-19T12:40:00.002-05:00

We have had quite an exciting time the last week. Life is really never dull here. I have been meaning to write for days, but I have been sick and life is crazy. So now it is Thursday already and the week seems to have passed by without me realizing it.

We had an awesome V~day. We took the kids to see Coraline in 3D. Sadie and I both loved it. We came out of the theater and it was snowing pretty good out there. After a stop at the grocery store, we went home, made a fire and I made my first big meal on my new fancy stove top. I made mussels and shrimp in a garlic, wine and butter sauce with lots of spices and served it with linguini. It was yummy and oh how fun it was to use the new stove! I promise to get the pictures up soon. They still have a few final touches to finish and we have to wait for a cabinet that had to be reordered. Then it will have to be painted. It is at least fully functional and I put all my stuff away in the cabinets. Sunday we had my mom over and I made meatless chili and she brought beer bread. I made a cherry pie for dessert. It is so nice to be able to cook gain!
We all started getting sick over the weekend with an awful cold. Monday I felt lousy and laid around a lot. Zion had woken me up very early with a pretty serious problem that developed from an urinary tract infection(UTI). One of his testicles had swollen twice it's size and he had a fairly high fever. I got his fever down and fought with him all day about going to the ER. He just wanted to sleep because he hadn't at all the night before. He didn't get a high fever again until Tuesday morning and I finally made him see that he needed to go to the ER. UTIs themselves can cause high fever, but I had looked up on the mighty web using his symptoms and found that it was probably something called epididymitis. I was right and it took me less time to diagnose him them it did a team of ER doctors. They sent him to get an ultrasound of his balls. Needless to say Zion and I giggled quite a bit. Good thing he keeps such good spirits. The odd thing was that he actually had a lot of pain in a place that he isn't supposed to have any feeling. They gave him Cipro and he should be better soon. It could have been much worse and have been testicular torsion. Google that one! Fun fun fun. This is why on some of the paraplegia forums guys are so adamant about checking their balls daily. I am going to have to remind Zion regularly.
I ordered his bike a few days ago and we are so excited to get it. We also got news that he has been approved for the Make A Wish program and now he has to start really thinking about what he wants. How exciting!

Ode to Chaucer and Valentine's Day

2009-02-11T15:00:00.004-05:00

I just love Wikipedia and today I got caught up in looking at the history of Valentine's day. I just knew it had to have started long ago and wasn't just some ploy for the card companies to get us to buy more cards.(Incidentally I bought 3 of them today and a pack for Sadie's class) I figured the holiday had to do with the martyred Saint Valentine, but it doesn't. Apparently it was never thought of as a day for lovers until Chaucer wrote about it in his poem Parlement of Foules. Have you ever tried to read this guy? Wow is it hard to translate! That is some messed up old English. So he made Valentine's into the lovey dovey holiday we know it as now.
A day to find a mate and give each other cheesy cards.(I hope my husband doesn't think his card or gifts are cheesy though!) I never thought much of the holiday until finding him because of some dirty candy hearts I made back in 2006. Now we are having our third Valentine's together and our first as husband and wife. It is a day I can embrace happily now. Before I was full of bitterness about it. It happened to be my asshole ex's birthday so he had fairly well ruined it for me for many years. I will enjoy it because I can. I will forever think of my love for my husband when I see a candy heart even if it does say CUNT on it.

Some quotes By Chaucer~

“Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively in bed”

“Love is blind.”

“Time and tide wait for no man.”

“By nature, men love newfangledness”

Plans gone awry

2009-02-09T09:07:00.002-05:00

Nothing really seemed to go as planned this weekend, but it was still fun.
Friday I had no little kids at home, so we were going to go to dinner at Outback with the bff and Brit, but ummm.... I was drunk by the time they got home. The young(cute) guy who is working on the kitchen hung out for a while after he was done working and we did shots of the whiskey the contractor brought us and had a few beers. It was fun. He is such a nice kid. Of course the hubby didn't think it was so nice and got really pissed off at me and stayed that way all night. We decided to wait until the next day to go to dinner, since it was getting so late already. We hung out and ate sandwiches on this yummy delicious fresh french bread that my contractor brought us from a bakery near his house in Jersey.
Saturday we were going to have a party, but that fell through. I took the BFF and Brit to pick up their new car. I spent the day cleaning and they ran up to their house to get some stuff they forgot. We didn't leave for dinner until almost 6:30 for our 7 pm reservation across town. We were almost there and the Bff's daughter called her. She was watching the kids at home. Sadie had broken a coffee mug and had a splinter of ceramic under her fingernail. We had to turn around and go home to fix her up. I was freaking on the way back home and flying down the highway making everyone squirm in their seats. I had no idea how bad she was hurt at that time and all I could think was that she was hurt and I was not there. It ended up not being serious at least, but she was in a lot of pain. The chunk I pulled out from under the nail was pretty big. We had canceled our reservation when we turned around to come home so we had to make a new one for 8 pm. We went and had a great time at dinner. The food was good and it was nice to be out with no kids. We didn't get back home until almost 10:30. We were supposed to have game night with the neighbors that night but had to cancel that too.

Nothing went as planned.

Yesterday was an absolutely gorgeous day here. C spent the day tinkering around the garage and outside. The kids played in the mud outside all day. I took the girls to the antique store that I got the table at. We spent a few hours there and then went to the store to get some stuff to throw on the grill for dinner. For once I did not have to take them back to their house on Sunday night since they finally got a car! C and I curled up in bed and watched Underworld. I was so sleepy I didn't even make it half way through the movie.

Today I have to go buy hardware for my cabinets. The kitchen is getting even closer to done. The counters are awesome and the floor looks great. I should have a kitchen sink by the end of today! I might even have appliances by the middle of the week. I will post some more pics soon~

Karma payment plan pays out

2009-02-06T08:14:00.003-05:00

I GET TO GO SEE MODEST MOUSE!!!!!!!
For my first concert in over 6 years! March 14th at the Electric Factory in Philly a bunch of us will be going to see my favorite band!! Tickets went on sale yesterday and Missi ordered them this morning. My birthday is only 9 days later, so I could not ask for a more awesome, fantastic present. I am in such a great mood. Last week life was shitty. We were broke and I was miserable. This week life has taken another amazing turn towards awesomeness! Yay!

Finally pictures~

2009-02-05T09:12:00.006-05:00

My kitchen is coming along. Today the floor goes in and tomorrow the counters. Oh how I miss cooking! Hopefully it will be complete by next week. I am so sick of the dust. There will be no eating out for us for a long time when I can finally cook again. I have only been out of a kitchen for two weeks, but it sure does feel like months. It is making me cranky.
This weekend we will be having a party for my BFF and SWG. They both have February b-days so we figured we would combine it. I am sure we will be having another party when the kitchen is done. I really want to try my hand at making sushi rolls.
I still have not straightened out the mess with Zion's medicare and today we had to pay for his new ROHO cushion out of the money raised for the bike. Luckily there was extra and we could do that. It is so hard for me to fathom that a rubber seat cushion can cost over $400. We got a discount and only had to pay $350. Unbelievable. I will be ordering his bike soon. In other AWESOME news....
Zion was referred for the Make A Wish foundation! He has to be approved by his doctor at Shriner's first, but I don't think they will deny it. We are so excited about it! We have been talking every day about what he would wish. No clue yet.
My contractor just walked in with a bottle of whiskey for us! I really couldn't ask for better guys doing the work. I think we will have to have a drink after they are done today!

Vampires or Werewolves?

2009-01-29T09:38:00.003-05:00

Well I am still in the midst of construction chaos. It hasn't been bad. The guys doing the work are nice. The young one just started a business and this is his first big job. He is doing great. This job will hopefully help him to get more jobs and I would give him any recommendations he needs. So much for ever getting the pictures uploaded. One of these days...
I spent the last few days entranced by the first two books of The Twilight Saga. They were so good. It took me about a day to read each one. I am dying to read the next two and to see the movie. So what would you rather be? A Vampire or a Werewolf? I have always been captivated by both, but I think I would rather be a Werewolf. I swear sometimes I must already have some Werewolf blood in me with how hot my body gets and how hairy I am! If you were a werewolf you would still get to be a human sometimes and I would hate to have to hide from the sun. I am happy just staying human though. I don't think I would be good at either of them anyway since I don't like to kill. I really am looking forward to seeing the new Underworld movie too. I think I will make my husband take me on a date!
Today I am off to pick out flooring. We have to drive over to Lancaster for it. It is so exciting to know that my kitchen will soon be done. Pictures soon! Promise~

Wheel is Turning~

2009-01-23T15:03:00.005-05:00

It has been quite the week here in Lubeland. Monday work got underway on the house starting with some exterior work. I pity the poor guy who has been out in the cold all week, but today he had a glorious day to start fixing our front porch. They repaired an exterior wall that was causing a leak and put on new doors. I have some pics to post, but I think the card reader is up in the bedroom and that is just too many flights of stairs! Which brings us to Tuesday.... I was excited about the inauguration and spent the day glued to NBC. What an amazing thing to see all those people on the mall. I was getting ready to see the swearing in and had run down here to the basement to check my email when I noticed a light on that should not have been on. It is way up high above bookshelves and is a light we normally don't use. So I climbed up on the recliner and shelves to reach it when I felt myself lose balance. I fell down to the ground twisting my injury prone ankle and nearly knocking myself out on the concrete floor. I was all alone in the house with no cell phone on me and I sat there on the floor crying for a few minutes before getting myself upstairs. I continued to cry, half from pain and half from the emotions of watching the President being sworn in. I spent the rest of the day with my foot iced on the couch watching the world change. The last few days I have been hobbling around the house trying to do more than I can and paying for it in the end when I have to sit down because my ankle has become swollen again. Today I am finally feeling a lot better and I think my husband telling me to wear my sneakers helped. Two people asked me to go dancing this weekend and I don't see that happening yet, but at least I have been able to get stuff done today. Monday they start work on the kitchen! I am so excited. I have to get the kitchen emptied out. Maybe I will even get to posting those pictures this weekend.

25 Random Things

2009-01-16T09:44:00.000-05:00

( as seen on Facebook)

1) I am a first generation American. My mother was born in England and my father was born in Hungary.
2) I only met my grandmothers. My Nagymama, my father's mother, came to stay with us from Hungary when I was very little. All I remember is watching her cook with her 50 lb bag of flour. We visited my Grandmother on Islay when was I was little. I remember being jealous of her Boxer, drinking cokes from a bottle, the ruins and going in a row boat out on the sea.
3) Both of my grandfathers died during WWII.
4) I have not seen my father in over 14 years. He lives in California.
5) I love Modest Mouse.
6) I am double jointed.
7) I read Russian Gypsy Tarot cards.
8) I often dreams things that come true and have a habit of knowing what people are thinking.
9) I only sleep well with my feather pillow.
10) I lived on the farm from the time I was 5 until I was in my twenties.
11) I grew up around Thoroughbred race tracks. My mom was a hotwalker.
12) I want to start my own catering/party planning business within the next few years.
13) I have a plastic plate in my face from a car accident.
14) I am afraid of driving but drive aggressively.
15) I am afraid of spiders, but not as afraid as my husband.
16) I love boardgames.
17) I often read books in one day.
18) I plan on going to a book signing by Nora Roberts next month at her husbands bookshop.
19) I want to get the pi symbol tattooed somewhere.
20) My kids have names from songs.
21) I think I am a pretty damn good cook.
22) I am thrifty.
23) I am becoming more and more of a hermit and slightly agoraphobic.
24) I went on Tour with the Dead in the early 90s.
25) I have not been to a concert in 6 years. I plan on getting to one this year.

A few random words from your blogger~

2009-01-15T10:29:00.000-05:00

~It snowed this minuscule little bit of snow overnight. I want real snow. I bought Quinn a sled for Christmas, so you know we won't get enough snow for sledding this year. That's how life plays out. Bring me a blizzard!(Ok bring it after I have money to go grocery shopping)
~I am feeling stressed right now about lots of things, but top on the list is the fact that they cut off Zion's medicare. What the fucking hell!? First his SSI and now this!? I am so mad and now I am going to have to deal with the bullshit of working that out.
~My kitchen gets worked on in 4 days and I have lots of stuff to move out of it. I have no idea what I am going to do with it all.
~This weekend we will be having a party here for one of my best friend's kid's birthday. We have so many parties here. Glad my house is good for it. Next one is the bff's who's b-day is Groundhog day. I am hoping the kitchen is done for that.
~Zion went for his yearly exam yesterday and to get a flu shot. We love his doctor and he told me he had permission from Zion to tell me what a great kid I have and that he would be proud if he was his own son. Zion is one awesome human.
~We had a blow up around New Years with my nephew and the other teenage boys who hang out with Zion and since then they have not been around. It has been sweet!
They are all mad at Zion for not standing up for them and he told them that their level of arrogance was unacceptable and that he was done sticking up for them. GO ZION! He is enjoying the quiet. They took advantage of him for too long and he is seeing that now.
~I am feeling pretty cozy here and for now I am just going to observe the goings on at the new JS. I am happy that the new admin are trying to get friendly with the old JS family. So far the site confuses me a bit and I end up getting frustrated so I will sit on the sidelines for a while.

Have at it!

2009-01-12T08:37:00.000-05:00

The only thing I like about Mondays is that after everyone being home all weekend I get the house relatively to myself. Zion is still here, but he barely comes out of his room. It is so blissfully quiet.
The weekend promised snow and let me down again. Go ahead and think I'm crazy, but I was really looking forward to it. I got Quinn a sled for Christmas and I want him to be able to use it! There is something so wonderful about sitting in front of a warm fire when the snow is falling. It just isn't the same when it's nothing but freezing rain.
Zion's doctors decided last week that he should continue homebound schooling. He has two small pressure wounds that need to be healed before he can have the spinal fusion, so they want him off his butt as much as possible. At this point he is scheduled for surgery April the 15th and is on standby in case of cancellations. He wasn't too upset that he doesn't get to return to school and knows that if he heals before the surgery he can return for a bit. The poor kid is going to spend most of his 9th grade year at home. Thanks be for the internet so he can have a social life! He has friends from all over the world on Xbox and online and can talk and play with them. If he would have been hurt even 30 years ago, life would not be nearly as kind to him. He would not have been put in the regular school system and wouldn't have the opportunity to make as many friends as he has.
This week I will be ordering his bike for him! I hope to be able to get a story on the news or in the paper about it in the spring. We still have not met the lady who raised the money for the bike and I am looking forward to meeting her when the bike is delivered. There are some very amazing people in the world. Gives me hope!
In one week they will start remodeling my kitchen! I am so excited. I got to pick out appliances and they were ordered already. I need to get to Home Depot to check out samples for the counters, floor and backsplash this week. I will have a double oven!! Oh the things I can make now! Who wants to come for the new kitchen party!?

Amazing~

2009-01-09T15:54:00.000-05:00

This is just an absolutely amazing story a friend emailed me.

Kids~MGMT

2009-01-09T12:14:00.000-05:00

I wanted to try posting a video to see how easy it is here. So here is one of my favorite songs right now. I can listen to it over and over and for some reason it always makes me tear up a bit. I know I am such a sap~

Kids~MGMT

You were a child
Crawling on your knees toward it
Making momma so proud
But your voice was too loud
We like to watch you laughing
Picking insects off of plants
No time to think of consequences

Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted to be haunted
Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted to be haunted

The water is warm
But it's sending me shivers
A baby is born
Crying out for attention
The memories fade
Like looking through a ... fogged mirror
Decision to decisions are made and not bought
But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot
I guess not

Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted to be haunted
Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted to be haunted

Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted to be haunted
Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted to be haunted ...repeat...

Mallwalkers unite

2009-01-08T08:42:00.000-05:00

My mom and I had been walking up until about a month ago every Tuesday and Thursday on the rail trail that is a few blocks from our house. We would walk three or four miles twice a week and I was feeling pretty good. Then I got that horrible sickness we all had here and then came the holidays so our walking got put aside. Not to mention that the last time we did walk I came home feeling like I was walking on two popsicles. With the trail getting icy I don't want my mom, who is 68, out there walking where she could fall.
So we are now going to join the ranks of the mallwalkers! Maybe we can even join the club!! How exciting is that!
On the bright side there must be plenty of single elderly gentlemen out there at the mall that might think my mom is a hottie and maybe she can find a "friend". (She would kill me if she saw that.) She is looking pretty damn good for her age. I have always said I hope I age like her.
Seriously though...
On second thought. Most of the old guys that walk at the mall creep me out. Then there is the fact that a while back there was a big bust of guys who were going to hook up with other guys in the mall restrooms. They busted 20+ guys from 18-70something for whatever it was they busted them for. I think there was even solicitation. Some young guys pimping themselves out to the old pervs.
Ok so maybe my mom is totally happy being alone.

Signs that 2009 will be a great year.

2009-01-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

~Holy Shit! I got married in 2008! (I still have to say this to myself sometimes)This will be my first full year ever as a happily married woman.
~I woke up on New Year's day still messed up from New Year's Eve and proceeded to make a most excellent pork roast with sauerkraut for good luck.
~I started the year off with a kiss from my husband and surrounded by good friends.
~The year rang in with brownies and jello.
~Zion will finally get the surgeries he needs and may be able to enjoy the rest of high school. He is pretty healthy to start the year off and I hope he stays that way.
~9 is a good number.
~Obama will be president.
~My kitchen gets remodeled in a few weeks!
~This!! I may get to run away a few days!! http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/61941477
~Even though JSthesite is gone, I still have my JS friends here and we made the site what it was.
~Isn't 35 the new 25?
~ I am healthy and so is my family.

Lubie Lives

2009-01-06T10:49:00.000-05:00

I had thought that with the death of JS, which I will be mourning for a while, that The Lube Faerie would be no more. I had another blog that was to be more wholesome and family oriented on blogger for over a year, but I never got the itch to do much with it. So that blog is gone now and Lubie lives on. How can I forget a persona that I have had for many years starting in chat rooms and for the last 3+ years on Journalspace? JS changed my life. I have met so many wonderful souls there and would not be happily married for over six months now without it. It was my place to rant and rave when I was upset or just to write down the daily stuff that means so much to me. I had so much fun over the years in that community. I am glad that I can still read and keep in touch with lots of you. I did manage to save a few years of writing from JS because I tried to remember to save it periodically. Unfortunately the last year I did not save, but I did manage to find some with the google cache. I hope that I can get back in the swing of blogging and be able to catch you all up with pics and what's going on in Lube land here.