Kinda forgot about this place. I think I could use this space again for some venting. Life is about to get a bit rough...

time flies when you're avoiding your blog...

Well will ya look at that... I haven't blogged since June! I am sure you have all been hanging in suspense to hear the ending of my tale of my father's death...
well hang no longer...
So where was I..
Oh yes. First day in a foreign land with strangers or some such thing...

The following morning I awoke at 5 am and didn't quite know where I was at first. To me it felt like I had slept in late, since I was still on EST. I was at a loss and could not bring myself to just lay there, so I got up and cleaned the guest bathroom. I waited for the girls to get up and had some coffee and prepared myself for going to my dad's trailer.
When we arrived at his trailer park it all seemed so surreal. It was so hard to walk into the home of the man I barely knew. What would I find? My father was always a tidy, proud man and I was a bit surprised at the neglect of housework. I knew his bad health was the cause. He had been ill a few years and had had a quadruple bypass two years prior. His clothes and shoes however were immaculate. He had always been a snazzy dresser. He had more suits, boots and shoes than anyone I have ever known. He was a charmer and dressed the part wherever he went.
I really did not know where to start with his belongings. I knew they had to go, but had no clue how I would do it all in less than a week. I started to go through paperwork and looking for precious photos of those relatives in Hungary I knew much of nothing about. I found them straightaway thankfully. I also found every single card, letter or picture I had sent him over the years. All the grand kids he never met smiling at him in those photos, my wedding photos and invitation, postcards from places I had been....
I sat and had a good cry....
His gf, sisters and bro-in-law were a gigantic help through it all. They knew some people that would come and remove some things and helped to pack the rest of it up. Dad's neighbors helped out and took some things they could use also. We got a lot done that first day.
The following day was a small memorial service in the park community room. Some of dad's friends came to share stories and pay respects. One friend he played cards with wrote him a poem. Another read a passage from a book. I had brought along pictures and we made a nice display with scrabble tiles and his bowling gear. Dad loved both. Everyone told me how proud he would have been of me for taking care of everything in the end. They made me proud of my father for having been such a good friend to them. He was always there to help people when they needed something built like a deck or ramp.
It gave me a whole new view of my father.
I managed to somehow get everything taken care of and made new friends and family in the process. As well as having some fun! His gf and her family were wonderful people and were such a help to me. It takes big hearts to let someone they have never met into their homes and to give them so much help. I would never have been able to do it without their support and the support of my family.
Sometimes I am still expecting that phone call that I may or may not ignore and then I realize it will never come again.

Obviously it takes a death to make me blog again....

I have become a horrible blogger. Hard to believe with the blogger I used to be...

These days it takes something major (or major boredom) to make me blog again.

This one was a biggie....

A month ago I got a text from my newly reacquainted brother that started out fine, and then he said he had to tell me something about Dad. I knew right away what it would be. My father had died two weeks prior to my brother finally being tracked down. All that week, before I had found out, I had had a nagging feeling about my dad and I knew there was something wrong. The biggest thing on my mind was what would I do if he died? How would I get to California? How could I possibly afford to? How could my family live without me if I had to leave suddenly? Who would take care of Zion? Well, we would soon find out...
I took on the responsibilities of next of kin and started making arrangements. The sheriff's office of Riverside had been brought in to find the next of kin, so I had to deal with them and the coroner. My dad had a girlfriend who had been in limbo for two weeks not being able to do a thing since she was not considered next of kin. She did not know how to contact us. My father had been in the coroners office for two weeks. I spoke with her and reassured her I would get things taken care of. It took me two days to make arrangements for cremation and to make travel plans. I was an absolute wreck during this whole time, but I somehow managed to pull it together. This was tough, considering I had not seen my father in 16 years and I talked to him only a few times a year.
On June 10th I flew to California. The trip out was horrible due to problems at the airport and almost missing my flight. Then when I got to Ontario and went to pick up my rental car they told me I needed an extra hundred dollars to deposit that I did not have! I was furious, hysterical and stranded. I called my dad's gf and asked her to come rescue me. She and her two sisters came to get me. I had never gotten hotel reservations due to lack of money and was going to wing it when I got there. Either staying at my dad's trailer or getting a hotel. The girls told me I had to come home with them. She had an extra room I was welcome to. This was a huge relief and just the fact that they were so welcoming and warm to me made me feel so much better and I accepted their offer. We went to the crematorium to pick up my father's belongings and then to her house for dinner and drinks. Oh and we got pulled over for speeding on the way and got off due to our sob story!
I immediately felt at home when we got there. She had a ton of cats, dogs and two goats! Being a farm girl and animal lover, I fit right in. The three sisters and I hit it off immediately. His GF and I had lots in common and she was only ten years older than me. GO dad who was 71! We sat around drank and ate and told stories. I had brought a ton of pictures to share so we looked through them. I was exhausted from the travel and the time change so we ended the night pretty early. We had a big day the next day.

I think I will stop the story there for the time. It is still hard to think about it all. I will say that it hit me worse when I got back home. The last few weeks have been rough and I am just getting back to myself.
I will continue the story soon~

25 things about me~

1. One of my favorite snacks is dried apricots. I am having some right now.
2. I <3 beer and tequila~
3. I have been the mother of a paraplegic for almost 11 years. Since Dec 11th 1999...
4. I have 5 cats, a dog, a painted turtle and a Betta.
5. I am an Aries and this makes me hit my head a lot.
6. My favorite band is Modest Mouse.
7. I used to have a mane of dreadlocks.
8. My 8 year old daughter, Sadie, is my mini-me.
9. I tended bar for 9 years.
10. I am afraid of driving, but I think that makes me a good driver.
11. My father is a refugee from Hungary and my mother is a Resident Alien from England so I am a first generation American.
12. I am double jointed.
13. I want to write a cookbook, but it wouldn't be your normal cookbook....
14. I am afraid of dark deep water, spiders and heights.
15. I hated High School and dropped out even though I was an Honor Student. I still hate High School and it never seems to go away....
16. I have a plastic plate where a cheekbone should be.
17. I am allergic to gold, stupid people and bullshit.
18. I love to cook and entertain for my friends and family.
19. I am a nurturer...but don't piss me off....
20. I am Fey.
21. I want to learn to speak Hungarian and visit Hungary.
22. I have traced part of my English Ancestry back to 1100 AD and to Kings of England.
23. Both of my Grandfathers were killed in WWII and I was too little to remember much about my Grandmothers when they died.
24. I want to live by the ocean someday.
25. I am addicted to Facebook.....

playing with the past~

A new group on facebook has made me dig around in the past the last two days and this is something I found from my old Journalspace blog. I miss those days and wish I could get the blogging drive I had then back again. It was so therapeutic.

Playing Along
posted 04/24/06
If I were a month I would be: March
If I were a day of the week I would be: Saturday
If I were a time of day I would be: evening
If I were a planet I would be: Venus
If I were a sea animal I would be: a green sea turtle
If I were a direction I would be: West
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a bed
If I were a sin I would be: lust
If I were a liquid I would be: beer
If I were a stone, I would be: a fire opal
If I were a tree, I would be: an alder
If I were a bird, I would be: a Red-tailed hawk
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a Lily
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: sunshine
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a drum
If I were an animal, I would be: a cat
If I were a color, I would be: blue
If I were an emotion, I would be: love
If I were a vegetable, I would be: a turnip
If I were a sound, I would be: a sigh
If I were an element, I would be: fire
If I were a car, I would be: a '57 Corvette
If I were a song, I would be: reggae
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Jim Henson
If I were a poem, I would be written by: me
If I were a food, I would be: cheese
If I were a place, I would be: a garden
If I were a material, I would be: cotton
If I were a taste, I would be: a mix of sweet and sour
If I were a scent, I would be: Patchouli
If I were a religion, I would be: Pagan
If I were a word, I would be: chaos
If I were an object, I would be: a crystal ball
If I were a body part I would be: a womb
If I were a facial expression I would be: a smile
If I were a subject in school I would be: social studies
If I were a shape I would be: a circle
If I were a number I would be: three

Life is large

It's rainy and dreary out, which is okay with me since I want to get some cleaning done this weekend. It is warm and I have a covered back porch, so I can enjoy the day anyway.

If I can get out of my wanting to cry mood....

My house smells like peonies and the scrambled eggs and toast Quinn is cooking himself.

I guess life is pretty good, but I have this empty hole right now.

I think my life is a little too large.

Speaking of large....Look how big my kitties have gotten. Kitties really do make life better. Even if they wake you up too early in the morning.

Playing with Faeries

Just when I think I am going to get bit by the blogging bug and starting blogging regularly again I turn around and forget about it for a while. Anyway….

Life is still crazy here. My mom moved in, so we are now 9 people, 8 cats, 1 dog, a turtle and a fish. What a house full! Gran is keeping everyone in line now and about to roll some heads if asses don’t get in gear. She sure does keep me busy! It is great to have a helpful person here. We have done tons of gardening and put in a lot of new perennials. Zion’s room is cleaner than it has been in a while and she spoils the hell outta him. I actually had to scold her yesterday about letting him be responsible for some of his own things. Tucker the black lab thinks she moved in just for him. They go on walks a few times a week.

Even though I have someone around to help, I am still stressed. Zion’s health is not good. My husband and I have been on touchy ground. The extra people in the house are working my nerves(and Mom’s).

But… life goes on and luckily there has been some fun to distract me!

On the 23rd I got to go to Baltimore to see one of my favorite new bands, The Xx, with two of my best friends. The concert was amazing and we danced our butts off! Oh the glory of a hot English boy making love to his bass and the feel of it vibrating through my body. We went to the after party and got to see Jamie from The Xx DJ. We had so much fun.

This Saturday we went to the Baltimore Zoo with my sister. It was so hot, but it was still a good time. I love seeing all the animals and it is so great to have a good camera for places like that.

Sunday we went to the 19th annual Faerie Festival at Spoutwood Farms, which is just down the road. We went Sunday so we could see the band Albannach from Scotland, who I absolutely LOVE! Mmm hot Scotsman in Kilts beating on drums and blowing on pipes. It was so great to dance to them again. Sadie was dancing just as hard as I was. My lil girl can dance! It was so freaking hot and sunny and I ended up burning, but it was well worth it. it’s so much fun to see all the costumes and look at all the vendors stuff. We got a little faerie house to put in our faerie garden and the kids got wooden flutes. Now that the kids are older it is more fun to go with them. Next year I am hoping to be able to volunteer and camp out a night there so I can enjoy the late night drum circles!