Wednesday, November 16, 2011

time flies when you're avoiding your blog...

Well will ya look at that... I haven't blogged since June! I am sure you have all been hanging in suspense to hear the ending of my tale of my father's death...
well hang no longer...
So where was I..
Oh yes. First day in a foreign land with strangers or some such thing...

The following morning I awoke at 5 am and didn't quite know where I was at first. To me it felt like I had slept in late, since I was still on EST. I was at a loss and could not bring myself to just lay there, so I got up and cleaned the guest bathroom. I waited for the girls to get up and had some coffee and prepared myself for going to my dad's trailer.
When we arrived at his trailer park it all seemed so surreal. It was so hard to walk into the home of the man I barely knew. What would I find? My father was always a tidy, proud man and I was a bit surprised at the neglect of housework. I knew his bad health was the cause. He had been ill a few years and had had a quadruple bypass two years prior. His clothes and shoes however were immaculate. He had always been a snazzy dresser. He had more suits, boots and shoes than anyone I have ever known. He was a charmer and dressed the part wherever he went.
I really did not know where to start with his belongings. I knew they had to go, but had no clue how I would do it all in less than a week. I started to go through paperwork and looking for precious photos of those relatives in Hungary I knew much of nothing about. I found them straightaway thankfully. I also found every single card, letter or picture I had sent him over the years. All the grand kids he never met smiling at him in those photos, my wedding photos and invitation, postcards from places I had been....
I sat and had a good cry....
His gf, sisters and bro-in-law were a gigantic help through it all. They knew some people that would come and remove some things and helped to pack the rest of it up. Dad's neighbors helped out and took some things they could use also. We got a lot done that first day.
The following day was a small memorial service in the park community room. Some of dad's friends came to share stories and pay respects. One friend he played cards with wrote him a poem. Another read a passage from a book. I had brought along pictures and we made a nice display with scrabble tiles and his bowling gear. Dad loved both. Everyone told me how proud he would have been of me for taking care of everything in the end. They made me proud of my father for having been such a good friend to them. He was always there to help people when they needed something built like a deck or ramp.
It gave me a whole new view of my father.
I managed to somehow get everything taken care of and made new friends and family in the process. As well as having some fun! His gf and her family were wonderful people and were such a help to me. It takes big hearts to let someone they have never met into their homes and to give them so much help. I would never have been able to do it without their support and the support of my family.
Sometimes I am still expecting that phone call that I may or may not ignore and then I realize it will never come again.

7 comments:

Shady Del Knight said...

As I wrote on June 30th I am proud of you for mustering the strength and courage to face this difficult and emotionally wrenching task. My thoughts have been with you in the interim. Thank you for posting the rest of the story and please take care of yourself, my Dell rat friend.

Dorrie said...

what a pity that you and his (new) family didn't get to meet under better circumstances. I'm so glad things worked out (relatively) well for you.... {{{hugs}}}

TheLubeFaerie said...

Thanks Dorrie! Hugs backatacha~
SDK~ You rock as always :)

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